i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
