sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
