My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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