ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
