Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
