when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
