so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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