Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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