can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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