Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
