I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
