Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
