just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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