I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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