Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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