Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
