Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize