yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
