I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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