he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
