I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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