I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
