Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
