After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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