im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
