I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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