Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
