i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
