He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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