I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
