There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
