I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
