Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
