Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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