i already hear my dad disowning me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
