You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
