Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
