This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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