the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
