So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We left an ass print on the piano.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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