it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
