saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
