This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
