Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize