Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
