maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
