Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
