i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
