OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nicole vs. Life
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
