i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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