Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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