i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
