I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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