WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up backwards on a recliner
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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