awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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