i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My feet surprised me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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