i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
