I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
