Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
