I could have mohawked her pubes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
