you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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