ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
