So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
