uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
