what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
