So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
