I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
