Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
