I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
God I need to hump something, right now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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