If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
